User tells, and what it means

"I tried to fix it myself." I have made it much, much worse.
"I already tried that ten times." I actually recognised one of the words you said when you started speaking and after that I stopped listening.
"The computer deleted my file." I deleted my file.
"This wouldnít have happened if we used Macs." Macs. Because shiny!
"Youíre pretty good with computers, right?" The next thing I say will be can you fix my personal laptop/tablet/phone/lawnmower/cat, in your own time, for free?
"Is it possible to delete an email after youíve sent it?" Get some popcorn, this is going to be good ...
"I think the firewall is blocking me." I donít know what a firewall does but I like the word so I just threw it in there as a sort of garnish. You can probably rule out the firewall.
"Is there something wrong with Exchange?" I have done something stupid to my email.
"Why does this always happen?" This is the second time this has happened to me! I forgot to tell you the other time. If this is my fault, Iíll forget this one too.
"Ever since youÖ" Iím pretty sure you broke my computerís ?? or something when you reset my password.
"It worked yesterday." It worked right up to the point I changed it.
"It would be easier if you just made me an admin." Iíve got big plans for this laptop. Youíll have to burn it to the ground when Iím done with it.