High Tech Computer Sales Jargon

NEWDifferent color from previous design
ALL NEWParts not interchangable with previous design
EXCLUSIVEImported product
UNMATCHEDAlmost as good as the competition
DESIGNED SIMPLICITYManufacturer's cost cut to the bone
FOOLPROOF OPERATIONNo provision for adjustments
ADVANCED DESIGNThe advertising agency doesn't understand it
IT'S HERE AT LAST!Rush job; Nobody knew it was coming
FIELD-TESTEDManufacturer lacks test equipment
HIGH ACCURACYUnit on which all parts fit
DIRECT SALES ONLYFactory had big argument with distributor
YEARS OF DEVELOPMENTWe finally got one that works
REVOLUTIONARYIt's different from our competitiors
BREAKTHROUGHWe finally figured out a way to sell it
FUTURISTICNo other reason why it looks the way it does
DISTINCTIVEA different shape and color than the others
MAINTENANCE-FREEImpossible to fix
RE-DESIGNEDPrevious faults corrected, we hope...
HAND-CRAFTEDAssembly machines operated without gloves on
PERFORMANCE PROVENWill operate through the warranty period
BROADCAST QUALITYGives a picture and produces noise
HIGH RELIABILITYWe made it work long enough to ship it
SMPTE BUS COMPATABILEWhen completed, will be shipped by Greyhound
NEW GENERATIONOld design failed, maybe this one will work
MIL-SPEC COMPONENTSWe got a good deal at a government auction
CUSTOMER SERVICE ACROSS THE COUNTRYYou can return it from most airports
UNPRECEDENTED PERFORMANCENothing we ever had before worked THIS way
BUILT TO PRECISION TOLERANCESWe finally got it to fit together
SATISFACTION GUARANTEEDManufacturer's, upon cashing your check
MICROPROCESSOR CONTROLLEDDoes things we can't explain
LATEST AEROSPACE TECHNOLOGYOne of our techs was laid off by Boeing