HOW TO LEAVE THE PLANET
- Phone NASA. Their phone number is (713) 483-3111.
Explain that it is very important that you get away as soon
- If they do not cooperate, phone any friend you may have
in the White House - (202) 456-1414 - to have a word on your
behalf with the guys at NASA.
- If you don't have any friends in the White House, phone
the Kremlin (ask the overseas operator for
0107-095-295-9051). They don't have any friends there either
(at least, none to speak of), but they do seem to have a
little influence, so you may as well try.
- If that fails, phone the Pope for guidance. His telephone
number is 011-39-6-6982, and I gather his switchboard is
- If all these attempts fail, flag down a passing flying
saucer and explain that it's vitally important you get away
before your phone bill arrives.